How Big Is Your Barge?

When Life Changes the Map — Keep Sailing

Let me share a story with you.

For over two years, I lived life on the water — sailing the open ocean and inland waterways aboard a 49-foot ketch. We navigated by carefully charted courses, using maps, depth finders, and trusted markers to guide us through channels, avoid sandbars, and stay clear of hidden dangers.

One evening, as the sun dipped low, the sky lit up in colors only God Himself could have painted — fiery reds, soft purples, and golds like a Fourth of July celebration. I went below deck to brew a little coffee while we cruised along, just soaking in that moment of peace.

And then it happened.

Without warning, the boat jolted violently. Coffee flew everywhere, cups slid across the galley and shattered against the bulkhead. We were dead in the water — stuck. We had slammed into something the chart didn’t show. What we later discovered was that a barge had cut through part of the canal wall and shifted the landscape beneath the surface. What was once safe and familiar had now become an unseen obstacle.

That moment? That’s life.

Sometimes, no matter how well we plan, something — or someone — unexpectedly cuts into our path. People make choices that shift our world. Circumstances change. Suddenly we find ourselves stuck, confused, or even broken, wondering how we got here.

But here’s the truth:

We always have a choice.

We can pause. We can assess the damage. We can recalibrate. We can even back up and find familiar waters. Or — and this takes courage — we can boldly chart a new course and continue forward into uncharted territory.

And yes, sometimes people themselves are like that barge — crashing through without much thought to the wake they leave behind. We can’t always stop them, and we can’t control how others treat us, but we can control how we respond. We can choose to keep growing, healing, and refining the person God created us to be.

It may mean adjusting our tone, refining our communication, learning to respond instead of react — even if that takes some practice. (Yes, I fully support the “practice in front of the mirror” approach — no judgment!)

When we do the work on the inside — not for anyone else’s approval, but to honor who we’re called to be — something amazing happens: We begin to find peace. We reset our mindsets. We strengthen our confidence. And while others’ reactions may still vary — some may lean in, some may step away — we stand steady, no longer defined by their choices.

And if someone does walk away? Let them go. Their choice isn’t a reflection of your worth. It simply means their chapter in your story may be finished. God still has your next chapter waiting.

Now — when it comes to marriage, let me say this carefully :If you're in a season of struggle, I encourage you to exhaust every healthy effort toward reconciliation before considering divorce — especially where children are involved. Marriage takes humility, setting aside pride, and choosing to serve and listen even when it's hard. Communication, counseling, prayer, and honest commitment can turn things around when both are willing. Divorce shouldn’t be the first or easy choice — it's not a remedy; it’s often a gateway to a whole new set of challenges.

Happiness is fleeting.

Commitment is a decision.

And real joy — the kind that endures — starts inside you, not with the other person.

That said, I do recognize there are times when divorce becomes necessary for safety, sanity, or wellbeing. Every situation is unique, and seeking wise, godly counsel is crucial when walking through those decisions. At the end of the day, no obstacle is bigger than God's ability to restore, redeem, and repurpose your story.

But it starts with being willing to adjust your sails — to pause, pray, grow, and step forward again.

You’re not stuck. You’re just at a new starting point. And trust me — the best is still ahead.

Until next time...

Smile big.

Breathe deep.

And always remember — God’s not done writing your story.

💛 Deb