Let me share a story with you. For over two years, I sailed the oceans and inland waterways on a 49-foot ketch, using both sails and motor to navigate the waters. We depended on a well-charted course shown on our maritime chart, which provided valuable information about the depth of the water, channels, and hidden hazards like sandbars and submerged banks. Our trusty depth finder also helped us avoid anything not visible below sea level.
One evening, as the sun began to set, the sky lit up with colors like fireworks on the Fourth of July. I went below deck to brew some coffee. While I waited, I was taken aback by the beauty the sky painted across the glass portal below. Its colors seemed to alternate, like a kaleidoscope, as the sun disappear into the horizon. As I poured the coffee, the boat jolted violently and everything came to a sudden stop. The cups slid across the galley's countertop smashing into the bulkhead a few feet away. The coffee I was pouring splashed across the counter onto the galley floor in a chaotic hot mess. We had hit an obstacle that wasn't visible on our chart. We were instantly dead in our tracks. And I was left holding an empty pot!
It turned out that a large barge had cut through the canal walls, creating an unforeseen obstacle where our chart had previously assured safe passage. It literally changed the position of the canal walls, creating what felt more like a cement bulkhead. This experience mirrors the unpredictable nature of life itself, where unforeseen obstacles can derail our plans and leave us stranded in unfamiliar waters.
When faced with such challenges, we have a choice: to pause and recalibrate, backup and find our way back to familiar waters, or boldly chart an entirely new course that transcends the hindrance before us. Navigating these uncharted territories demands a deliberate slowing down, reassessing our surroundings, surveying any damage, and then cautiously maneuvering through the obstacles imposed upon us by external forces.
In essence, my hope is that this story ultimately imparts the wisdom of adjusting our sails to accommodate the gusts of life and moving forward. Sometimes people can be our barge. They cut through our life, making their own way, whether we were prepared for them or not. Sometimes we are left in a situation we hadn't planned for or anticipated. Reality is, we cannot alter another person's thoughts about us or control their treatment of us, but we do possess the power to transform ourselves and the way we interact with others. By nurturing and coaxing the finest version of ourselves to emerge, we begin our extraordinary journey of personal growth. We can reshape our responses, refine our communication style, and choose a tone that fosters understanding and harmony. And sometimes, it can take some practice. Use a mirror, no one is watching.
As we diligently work on these internal changes, we begin to truly love ourselves and reset our mindsets. A remarkable shift in the reactions of those around us inevitably unfolds, but we cannot always predict the outcome. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, others may choose to leave. In these moments, we draw upon our innate strength to persevere, fueled by the transformative power we have harnessed within ourselves. But remember, their choice to leave has more to do with their own personal feelings, rather than rejecting you as a person. They just decided the relationship was not for them. That's ok. You're moving on up with a clearer, more healthier outcome for the future. The best is yet to be.
In the case of a marriage, I would encourage you to explore any and all avenues for reconciliation and work through difficulties before considering divorce, particularly when children are involved. It requires setting aside ego, pride, and individual desires to prioritize the well-being of the relationship and the family as a whole. It requires looking beyond self and seeking to understand the other more than being understood. Everyone is worth hearing. Including your partner. Working on communication, seeking professional help, and showing commitment to resolving issues can make the journey worthwhile. Divorce should never be the first choice or 'go to' decision. It's not a remedy, but a gateway to a whole new set of problems. THINK: you both made a decision to love, honor, and cherish the person you're with, this is where the rubber hits the road and you honor your commitment. Mindset Reset: Happiness is fleeting; based on circumstances. And it begins with you, not the other person.
All that being said, I do acknowledge that every situation is unique, and there may be instances where divorce is the best solution for the individuals involved. Seeking guidance from trusted professionals who share your core values can provide valuable insights during such challenging times. Remember that relationships require effort and continuous growth, and it's through these experiences that we can learn and evolve as individuals.
No obstacle is too big for us to overcome if we remain adaptable, resilient, and willing to grow. We have the power to survive and thrive, and it begins with nurturing the finest version of ourselves.
Until next time.... smile big.
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