Follow the simple steps below to release fears and resentments. This is an extremely effective exercise
The root of "chaos in the mind" is brain dysregulation. We all get dysregulated sometimes, and we all eventually re-regulate. But if we spend a lot of time stuck in a dysregulated state, it becomes almost impossible to pay attention, connect with people, and make positive changes in our lives. There are several ways to re-regulate, but getting fears and resentments OUT of your head and ONTO paper is the most effective way I have found to bring about and release stored up resentments, unforgiveness and or stress from work, family, and every day life. The best part is it' free, it works quickly, and you can do it absolutely anywhere. Try it and see if it helps you unpack the tangle of thoughts, triggers and emotions that can lead to dysregulation.
Here's the special sauce
Begin by writing “I have fear…” and list whatever may come to your mind, in whatever order it comes. There’s no need to dig into the past. Just write down what’s already there right now.
• If you notice you are angry, write “I am resentful at… and name the person, group or institution. It could be your friend, God, the IRS, or yourself, for example.
• Immediately after you name this person, and before you say why you’re resentful at them, write “because I have fear...” and then write why, what do you think will happen as a result of this fear? Sometimes we aren't certain about the seeming cause of our resentment, and it’s the fear that rises up from the core of the problem that is actually making us ineffective and unreasonable.
• You’ll often find there are many fears stemming from a particular resentment, so examine your thoughts, on the surface to begin with, you may find even more when you start to think about it. Your fears and resentments don’t need to be significant or even true. You don’t need to know or analyze why they are in your mind. You just need to write them down, so your mind can have more space. In a way, it/s tossing them in the trash can of no recovering.
Here's and Example:
I fear I didn't get enough sleep; I have fear I won't look good in my jeans; I have fear that I won't get enough exercise in; I have fear I wont do well on the test because I didn't get enough sleep.
I am resentful of him because he snored all night, and kept me awake, I fear he wont do anything about the snoring because he doesn't care about me; If he doesn't care about me, I fear more insensitivities will arise; I fear that since he doesn't care about me he will think about leaving; because of that fear, i fear I should leave him before he leaves me; I fear if he leaves i wont be able to afford my rent, on and on and on.
I resent the people who cause me to stay over at work; I fear the people will stop coming in because they feel the resentment. I fear I won't be able to manage the resentment.
Now lets release all those negative thoughts and fears
I am now ready to release these fears and resentments, I declare and decree they are hereby released. I seek now a clear vision of what I am to do today, and the energy, inner calm and focus I need to successfully accomplish those things today, and do them well.
or
I am now ready and humbly ask you dear Lord, to remove these fears and resentments from me today. I pray to know your will for me today and humbly ask, what would you have me do. I ask for the courage and strength to carry it out. In Jesus name I pray.
HELPFUL TIPS:
• Write first thing in the morning, and again in the evening. You can write even more than that if you like, but make sure you write at least twice a day.
• Write as much as needed to feel better (at least a little better than when you started).
• Think of fears and resentments as wet leaves stuck on your windshield. One by one, you are picking them up and flinging them off. You’re not studying them or dwelling on them. Once they’re off the windshield, light comes in and you can see again, simple as that. There’s no need to write well or look for insight. It’s not a journal.
• Don't worry that releasing fears and resentments will leave you helpless or unable to act on problems. Trust that the release of troubling thoughts will only make you clearer and more effective.
• Be careful not to leave your writing where other people will see it, and get their feelings hurt. Shred it, or better yet, burn it as you release it.
• When you’re done writing, use of one of the endings shown in the sample above, or write your own. Use your imagination to see those thoughts released (or removed) from you mind. Don’t hold onto them, and don’t dig up your whole life in a day. Just write and be rid of whatever thoughts are disturbing and dysregulating you right now. With less dysregulation, you’ll have more clarity and strength to do good with your day and your life.
AFTER WRITING, REST YOUR MIND WITH MEDITATION
Twice a day, just after doing your writing, it’s time to meditate! Meditation rests your mind after the work of writing, helps to re-regulate, and opens the way for inspiration and inner guidance.
● The goal of this kind of meditation is rest for your mind. It’s different from other kinds of meditation where the goal might be to be still, to focus on your breath, to contemplate something… This is very easy, and all you have to do is relax into it.
● First, choose a “mantra” -- a word you can focus on while you meditate. This should be a word that carries little meaning to you, in that it doesn’t start you thinking or feeling anything in particular. We use it to get our focus off of other things. If you want to try a simple mantra, try “release,” “this,” or “easy.”
● Find a comfortable place to sit, in a chair, on a sofa, in bed, in the car -- anywhere where you’ll be undisturbed and safe while you close your eyes. Sit in a dignified way, and avoid letting the back of your head rest on anything. It’s OK to put your feet up, or wrap yourself in a blanket, or otherwise make yourself comfortable
● For 20 minutes, sit with your eyes closed and focus on your mantra, saying it slowly to yourself every few seconds (not out loud). Use a timer so that you’ll know when 20 minutes have passed.
● If you can’t sit for 20 minutes, do what you can. But you’ll get best results with 20 minutes of meditation, twice a day.
● If you forget to focus on the mantra and begin thinking, no problem. Just gently return to the mantra as soon as you realize your mind was wandering.
● If you fall asleep during your meditation, that’s OK. Again, just return to the mantra until your 20 minutes have elapsed.
● If there is noise around you, that’s OK. It’s good to learn how to meditate with distractions.
● If you’re really struggling with thinking, consider spending more time on your writing before your next meditation. Writing helps make a little space in your mind for meditation.
● If meditation brings up fearful thoughts, it’s OK to keep it short for a while.
● If you have a preferred form of meditation, it’s fine if you prefer to do that. For many people, super-simple meditation ends up getting better results because it’s easier to stay with it longterm.
● Twice a day is recommended because it works best to re-regulate your mind. But if you miss a meditation, don’t worry about it!
● It can be nice to meditate with others, either in the same room, or (if you’re meditation pals don’t live near you) on a video conference call (no kidding! It feels like you’re meditating together!)
Comments